15 Signs You're Dealing With A Narcissist (2024)

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1. Narcissists have to be the best, the most right, and the most competent; do everything their way; own everything; and control everyone.
2. Narcissists constantly need attention—even just by following you around the house, asking you to find things, or constantly saying something to grab your attention. And validation for a narcissist counts only if it comes from others.
3. Narcissists need everything to be perfect. They believe they should be perfect, you should be perfect, events should happen exactly as expected, and life should play out precisely as they envision it.
4. Narcissists want and demand to be in control, and their sense of entitlement makes it seem logical to them that they should be in control of everything.
5. Narcissists never want to be responsible unless everything goes their way. They often place all the blame and responsibility on someone else to maintain their own façade of perfection.
6. Narcissists lack boundaries. They believe that everything belongs to them and everyone thinks and feels the same as they do.
7. Narcissists have very little ability to empathize with others and often lack an understanding of the nature of feelings.
8. Narcissists perceive everything as a threat. Theyfrequently misread subtle facial expressions and are typically biased toward interpreting facial expressions as negative.
9. Narcissists make most of their decisions based on how they feel about something. They always look to something or someone outside themselves to solve their feelings and needs.
10. A narcissist's personality is split into good and bad parts. Any negative thoughts or behaviors are blamed on you or others, whereas they take credit for everything that is positive and good.
11. Narcissists are constantly afraid of being ridiculed, rejected, or wrong and often struggle to trust other people.
12. Narcissists typically deal with anxiety, and typically project their anxiety onto their closest loved ones, accusing them of being negative or unsupportive.
13. Narcissists don't feel much guilt because they think they are always right, and they harbor a lot of shame and often bury their insecurities, fears, and rejected traits that they are constantly on guard to hide from everyone, including themselves.
14. Narcissists can't truly love or connect emotionally with other people because of their inability to understand feelings, their lack of empathy, and their constant need for self-protection.
15. Narcissists don't have the capacity or the motivation to communicate or work as part of a team.

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Summary

A narcissist is someone who has narcissistic personality disorder (NPD), a clinically diagnosed personality disorder characterized by grandiosity, a need for admiration, and a lack of empathy toward other people.

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• Genetics: There may be a genetic predisposition to developing NPD. Research has suggested that individuals with a family history of personality disorders2, including narcissism, may be at a higher risk.
• Childhood: It's been shown that one's experiences during childhood, such as excessive overprotection3 or criticism, can contribute to the development of narcissistic traits.
• Society: Societal and cultural norms4 that emphasize competitiveness and what "success" looks like may encourage narcissistic traits.
• Trauma: Experiencing trauma or emotional abuse5 can lead some individuals to develop narcissistic traits as a way to shield themselves from emotional pain.
• Psychological factors: A fragile self-esteem6, insecurities, or a lack of empathy may contribute to the development of narcissistic traits as a defense mechanism.

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